We started a new chapter in Chinese today, and the topic involves love and marriage in today’s China. Apparently, my views on love and marriage are vastly different from those of the other students. Their ideas and thoughts are pretty shallow… I’m not saying I’m not, because everyone is to some extent, but I thought this sort of thinking died out long ago.
To some extent, I can agree with people who believe you should look for a partner that has a stable job and makes a lot of money. But their reasoning is so selfish. I would want someone with a good job because it demonstrates that they are responsible and willing to put time and effort into something important. However, people were saying that women want to marry a man that makes a lot of money so that the man could support them. I can’t believe people are still saying this nowadays. Women now can definitely support themselves. Why do so many women argue that they want to be equal to men, yet believe the man should still support them? I know for a fact that I can get a good job and support myself, and would never sit on my ass all day mooching off my husband; in fact I don’t even need a husband to live comfortably.
So many girls I know think the guy should pay for all their dates, yet expect the guy to treat them as an equal. This is why I hate the “pretty girls” that take advantage of guys to get free drinks and food. I believe both the husband and wife should contribute to supporting their lives together. In time the type of contribution may change, for instance when they have kids and one parent stays home to watch them, but I get so angry at the stupid girls that want to marry a dude and just sit at home while he does all the work. If I want to splurge on a vacation or something, I’m not going to use my husband’s money – I’m going to use my own, because I’m the one that wants to do it. Once, somebody said about a friend, “She is so lucky, her boyfriend makes so much money!” I was so pissed. Not only were the girl and her boyfriend both the same type of engineers, so their incomes would be relatively the same, why is it “lucky” for a girl to get a rich guy? She can support herself! And the speaker was female too!
In class people also discussed what “romantic” things guys should do for girls. Everything was completely materialistic. Flowers, chocolates, nice dinner out. I suspect these people also want an expensive engagement ring and bank-breaking all-out wedding. None of these things have anything to do with love! They all have to do with money and appearances! I’m not saying I wouldn’t appreciate them, but this should not be something you demand. I don’t want someone to buy me flowers and chocolate – that shows nothing except that you are willing to throw money away for me. I would rather have something hand-made that showed they spent time and effort. I’m not saying I don’t ever want to go out for a nice dinner, but I would much rather have a home-cooked meal – or even better, cook the meal together! (Sorry my meals always involve bacon, Jack ^^;) I don’t want some expensive engagement ring – people mostly just want them for show because they are shallow and care about appearances, and it’s not like the worth of your ring reflects in any way the strength of your love.
I love hand-made cards. I love cute piggy photo stories. I love random little post-it notes stuck on the door. I love making dinner together. I love playing video games with (or against) each other.
I love you Jack! Can’t wait to see you again for spring break <3